The Pilgrims Corner: Your Questions, My Reflections

The Pilgrims Corner: Your Questions, My Reflections, by Archbishop Felix Gibbins OSB Cam

Question: “I’m feeling led toward Catholicism, but my wife, who is a committed non-conformist Protestant, is uncomfortable with Catholic devotion to Mary and the saints. How can I make sense of this in a way that’s faithful to Christ?”

Answer: When I read what you’ve shared, I recognise something very precious and very vulnerable: the first stirrings of a call. As a priest and bishop, I’ve watched many people in their first months with Jesus feel this strange mixture of excitement, confusion, and fear of hurting those they love. So first of all, I want to say: you are not doing anything wrong by honestly noticing that you feel drawn toward Catholicism. The Lord is gentle. He does not manipulate hearts.

From a Catholic perspective, what troubles your wife is actually very important to me too. I worship God alone. Every Mass I celebrate, I repeat the words: “Through Him, and with Him, and in Him…” — everything begins and ends in Christ. When Catholics “pray to” Mary or the saints, we are not giving them the worship due to God. We are doing something much more ordinary: asking them to pray for us. Scripture tells us that in heaven the saints are alive in Christ and intercede: “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16), and “We are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses” (Hebrews 12:1). If I can ask you to pray for me on earth, it is not idolatry to ask a holy friend in heaven.

Mary has a unique place, not as a rival to Jesus, but as the one who shows us how to follow Him. St Augustine said that Mary conceived Christ in her heart by faith before she conceived Him in her womb. In the Gospel she simply says, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord” (Luke 1:38) and “Do whatever He tells you” (John 2:5). When I turn to her, I am not distracted from Christ; I am led to obey Him more fully.

I would gently encourage you to move slowly, pray honestly, and speak with your wife without defensiveness. You might simply say, “I never want to worship anyone but God. I’m exploring whether this tradition I’m drawn to actually helps me love Jesus more.” My role, as a bishop, is not to “capture” you, but to help you listen to the Holy Spirit with a clear conscience, deep reverence for your marriage, and eyes fixed on Christ.